I’m feeling down

Hank said he had to give a testimony today in court so he’s feeling a little down.

He’s only 15 and has the communication skills to say he’s feeling down.

It’s hard to know what to feel when you hear what crime he committed. He’s only 15.

He wanted to cry which made me want to cry. I showed him how Americans dap people up so he’d have a positive touch point but i don’t even know if we’re allowed to touch them.

What if my actions don’t align with how my heart feels and I lose interest and fail him like every other adult in his life?

Today they sang Amazing Grace. And when the mic got passed to him, he sang it too. Yeah timidly, and he probably didn’t know what the lyrics meant, but that’s what I’m holding on to.

Sometimes I don’t know what to say so I asked if they serve good food. Of course they effing don’t. It’s juvie. I said don’t worry we’ll get good food when he comes out. He gave a short chuckle. What if he goes to prison?

We’re only allowed to visit 3 times a month, so what will happen next week? Who will be a positive light in their life?

Tomorrow he’s looking forward to playing basketball. He likes to shoot from faraway. Jesus I pray he rains buckets.

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