Best Part by H.E.R featuring Daniel Caesar plays while I write this
I will quit this blog after 100 entries if…
– I feel as though I have reaped enough benefits from it
– I haven’t learned anything
– I jumbled up my reasons to start this blog and I start to do it to gain recognition
– I get literally 0 views across all of my posts
The goal is for these next 98 posts to be in the next 98 days. But no guarantees because you lose motivation and all that jazz.
Today this thought came into my mind – remember when you were a virgin? Or let’s pretend as if you are one now, or if you are one now, then great! Can you remember a conversation you had with someone and they found out you were a virgin? Usually, you don’t get any flack with telling people you’re a virgin. Yet sometimes people are hesitant to talk about it. As if there’s a whole shame surrounding it. “Oh no. I haven’t had sex yet. What will these people think? I’m unlovable? I’m weird?” But it doesn’t go that way.
“Oh you’re a virgin? Good for you for waiting that long!”
“You’re a virgin? That’s surprising! I would’ve expected someone like you to already have had sex.”
“Dang man I can’t believe you haven’t yet. I mean honestly you’re not missing out on anything.”
“Wow you’re so strong for waiting”
How come you’re talking to a virgin, sex isn’t praised. I mean sex is great! But we never advertise it to virgins like die hard fans. Let’s switch sex to something else like an In N Out Burger.
“You’ve never had In N Out???? We have to go NOW!
“You’re missing out, you have to try next time you’re on the west coast”
Or even switching it to something like The Lion King
“You’ve never seen The Lion King?? What are you doing with your life??????”
“How could you be this old and haven’t seen the Lion King?”
Why do conversations surrounding virginity operate like this? Then suddenly if you talk about sex with someone else whose has it before
“Man sex is great. We went for so long last night it was… just… wow.”
“Its been a hard week, I just need to get laid”
Do we ever say, “its been a hard week, I just need to watch The Lion King” I’m sure some people do.
It’s just an interesting double standard. We don’t think virgins should be having sex, or at least we don’t think that their life is lacking something because they haven’t had sex. Yet some virgins are ashamed of their virginity. And they can’t wait to have sex just so they don’t have to be a virgin anymore. But when talking to people to who have had sex, it’s suddenly a large part of our lives. We subtly keep track of how long it’s been since we’ve had sex. Or at least I do.
Why don’t we say to virgins, “You haven’t had sex yet???? What are you doing with your life?? How can you be at this age and haven’t had sex?” Instead we use empowering phrases such as “You are so strong. You are so patient. You must have lots of self control. Wow I admire that.” So is sex all that?
My friend told me that sex is just like fries. Yeah you can have fries, and they’re great. But you won’t die if you don’t have fries. People who aren’t eating fries – they’re not missing out on anything. But those who are eating fries, they’re having a great time. It’s just fries.
So is it just that? It’s just sex?