The effects of quarantine were starting to get to me yesterday. My feelings towards the whole thing have been oscillating. Stuff like this happens once in a lifetime so there’s not much you can prepare, but I wish I was better prepared.
The thing is, that dark hopeless feeling I felt in my stomach, I’ve felt that feeling before. Before Covid was even a thing. What explains that? Are we all just doomed human beings looking for the next high? And then hedonic adaptation brings us back down? Well that’s pretty fucking sad. Whatever it is, this life will change and have its moments of goodness and moments of badness, but it won’t necessarily get better. I’m sure I will always feel like this. Just have to make the most out of every moment I guess. Easier said than done. I’ve been telling myself that since fucking middle school. And I’ve barely seen change. Sometimes barely is enough. I’ll take that barely and fucking multiply it.